A few caveats before I begin this -

1) This is a discussion of the public face of society. The public face of the Victorian was one of politeness, etiquette, and repression. At the same time, it was an era when teen pregnancy skyrocketed, S&M increased greatly in popularity, the modern conception of homosexuality as a definition was created, and political, economic, class, and technological differences were tearing at the fabric of the society that had created them. In my opinion, the two "versions" of the society go part and parcel, but this is a discussion only of the surface politeness; perhaps, what they wished to be rather than what they often were.

2) The behaviors described here are those of the upper class, and that large portion of the middle class that aped their behavior. However, the moral values implies by these behaviors were fairly universal across society; e.g., you might or might not say you had to piss depending on your class, but you would consider it vulgar to say so in either case.

3) Within Victorian society, the cultural rules varied somewhat from place to place; the British had the reputation of being the most uptight, the Americans of being the most brash and crude, the Japanese of being the most formal, and the Parisian French of having such a different set of values that they seemed to believe most of the rest of the world was undergoing some kind of peculiar mass insanity. And, of course, there were different rules for men and women as well.

That having been said . . .

As I mentioned before, the Victorian era has a well-deserved reputation both for etiquette and repression. The rules of etiquette were often complex to the point of being bizarre, and I don't have the space here to go into exactly which fork to use when or how to tip one's hat in which situation; it's probably best simply to bear in mind that which fork one was using or how one tipped one's hat *were* considered important, and that doing so in the wrong way was considered rude and vulgar.

A more practical discussion of the matter at hand might be repression, that is to say in this case, which topics were and were not considered fit for polite conversation. The contemporary American has an advantage in navigating these waters, because much of our cultural code of politeness, whether we follow it or not, still descends from the Victorians, although in a very adulterated way. As a rough rule, if you wouldn't feel completely comfortable discussing it with a stranger or distant relative of a previous generation, the Victorians wouldn't feel comfortable discussing it at all, at least in public. Examples include:

Sex - This was the ultimate taboo subject of the time. Discussion of anything related to the act, with the exception of babies, was greatly discouraged. Mentioning the words "leg" or "ankle" was considered crass or offensive in some circles.

Urination and Defecation - Similar to sex, this subject was to be referred to with as many euphemisms as possible in those circumstances when it was otherwise completely unavoidable to refer to it. Otherwise, it was likewise taboo.

And so on.

In addition, some subjects were generally considered fit only for men, since it was assumed that they would be over the heads of, of little interest to, or upsetting to ladies. These subjects included, but were not limited to, violence, science, and philosophy. Politics was likewise considered unfit except for certain matters of public morality (such as, say, child labor laws) - women were considered the guardians of morality and therefore their opinions on these subjects were considered important. This "out" allowed many women to start from there and proceed to venture farther afield into more forbidden territory.

Money and commerce was a fit subject for conversation, although talking about it too much was considered vulgar.

Topics that were generally considered safe to talk about in any circumstance included the weather, anyone's marriage prospects, anyone's illnesses, music, food, and how boring things generally were.