A story that has been floating around the Chancel for the last few days:

On the third to last day of November, Lung Tao, the Sovereign Power of Mysterious Old Men called Hu Jackson to him and said:
"Hu, you wish to be more. You must train your body and mind."
And Hu said:
"How shall I do that?"
And Lung Tao replied:
"You must invent a martial art that relies on the techniques and philosophy of traditional japanese cooking. It must be a perfect blend of cooking and the natural movements of your own body. You must not eat or sleep until you have perfected your art. You have one week."

And Hu Jackson went and he studied and he trained and he invented Mochido, the Way of Rice.

When Hu returned to the old man, Lung Tao held out an apple, saying:
"If you can snatch the apple from my hand, then you are ready."
And Hu reached within himself, immersing himself in what he had studied and learned. His hand flashing quick as lightning, and took the apple. And he said:
"That wasn't so hard."
And then Hu found himself upside down on the far side of the room, with a broken nose and three broken fingers. And he said:
"Ow! What was that for?"
And Lung Tao said:
"Your Way is an illusion. The apple is a trick of the Light of Creation. Do you understand?"
And Hu said:
"No."
And Lung Tao said:
"Good. You are learning. Keep the apple. It is time to train your spirit."
Hu got to his feet, and asked:
"How shall I train my spirit?"
And the old man replied:
"You must go to the Square Lake in your Chancel. There, you must arrange a zen rock garden at the bottom of the lake. The garden must reflect the true nature of the place. You must not eat or drink, and you must refuse all offers of help. Again, you have one week."
And Hu smiled, but said nothing, for he knew that the metal razor kelp and the clockwork piranas and the other dangers of the Square Lake would not harm him, for they were part of his Chancel, and thus devoted to his cause.
As if in answer to these thoughts, Lung Tao said:
"And you must ask the various creatures and spirits of the Lake to hinder you, to their utmost ability. And you must do this task blindfolded."
And Hu ate the apple, then left to do the task.

On the first day, the sharp, slippery stones of the Lake cut Hu's feet.
On the second day, the cold waters froze his blood.
On the third day, Silas Powder stopped by the Lake and offered to help Hu with his task. And Hu had to refuse.
On the fourth day, the razor kelp cut Hu's legs.

On the fifth day, Hu returned to Lung Tao and said:
"This task is impossible and frustrating! The movements of the waters keep me from arranging the stones. The creatures of the Lake wound my flesh. I am forced to turn away the help of my allies. And I have no idea what the true nature of the place is. This task cannot be done!"
And the old man replied:
"You wish to know the power within you. That power comes from the soul of Fnord. What did you expect? You wish to know that which cannot be known! Now back to work!"
And he whacked Hu upside the head.

Hu returned to the Square Lake.
On the sixth day, the clockwork piranas gnawed at Hu's arms.
On the seventh day, the Erus of the Land came by and saw what Hu was doing. In a voice like thunder on a sunny day, it demanded that Hu leave the Lake along.
And Hu said:
"No. I have worked on this rock garden for longer than the Creator took to make the world. My body has been frozen, gouged, cut, starved, slashed, and eaten, and I will not abandon my work now."

And the Erus grew angry and demanded again that Hu leave this place.
And Hu drew his gun.

The truth of what happened next is not recorded. Some say that the Erus attacked Hu with a powerful magic that affected them both. Some say that the land of the Chancel itself finished Hu's garden for him, and the resulting mirror of the Square Lake's true nature caused a powerful backlash. Some even whisper that Fnord noticed the situation and decided to resolve things according to Fnord's wishes.

No one knows for sure.

What is known is that the Erus avoided Hu for the next few weeks, but redecorated his pyramid in the pattern of a red and white checkerboard. Hu, on the other hand, woke up in a mechanical tree several hours later. When he returned to the Lake, he found that he could not see it with his normal vision. Using the Sight, the Lake appeared as a rolling maelstrom of tormented waters. The wailing of a thousand tortured souls could be heard rising from the tormented waters. The spirit of the Lake appeared as a giant black-and-white tiger monkey who refused to answer any questions.

Hu shrugged, and returned to Lung Tao. When he reached the top of the mountain the old man was sitting on, Hu said:
"I tried to finish the task in your time limit, but I failed. Now a weird monkey sits where the spirit of the Lake once was, and it will not answer my questions. I am tired, hungry, and bleeding."
And Lung Tao said:
"What then, was the purpose of this task?"
Hu Jackson thought carefully for a moment, then replied:
"The task was frustrating, painful, and ultimately fruitless. All my hard work was swept away by something beyond my control. I think, therefore, that you are trying to show me what it is like to be one of Fnord's Nobles."
And the old man replied:
"No."
And Hu said:
"Then I am confused."
And Lung Tao exclaimed:
"Great! Confusion is the only possible response when confronted with the unknowable. You must embrace your confusion, if you ever want gain understanding. Your training is done, for now. I will call on you again, but until then, meditate on what you have learned."

And Hu went home and slept, for he was tired. But he had to get up early the next morning, because there was a party he was supposed to go to.