Of Elves and Nac Mac Feegles

     The night in the bandit's shack passed uneventfully. In the morning, the cart was reloaded and the party prepared to depart. The lone surviving bandit was released with a few days worth of rations and the party headed on. It was also discovered that the party's thief had entered the bottle and refused to come out.

     For the next couple of days, the party skirted just below the foothills of the Ramtops. The scenery didn't change much, but on the end of the second day the party found itself with a large forest on one side and a grassy plain on the other. As the sun was setting, the group decided to make camp. However, Alexander, remembering the advice of their employer, decided that the group should neither enter the grassland or the wood. As a result, the party set up their camp in the road. The hard, rutted roadway did not provide much comfort for the tired travelers and the situation was not improved when it began to rain. Brom, not having brought a tent, attempted to sleep under the cart, only to discover that he could not fit and Jorr was able to claim the desirable under-cart sleeping position. Brom was forced to cover himself with the tarp used to keep the provisions dry among the dried cabbages. Jorr was still recovering from the injuries he received in the previous skirmish and was excused from watch duty that night. Sved took the first watch, Brom the second, and Alexander the third.

     Half way through his watch, Sved noticed some lights and the sound of voices coming from the wood. He woke Alexander to get his take on the situation. Alexander concluded that the lights and voices were probably due to elves and that, as long as the group stayed on the path, the creatures did not represent much of a threat. He also told Sved to make sure Brom was told not to enter the wood, regardless of the temptation. Fearing that making the woods sound dangerous would only tempt one such as Brom, Alexander suggested that the woods would be an emasculating to Brom. This reason proved to be four syllables too long.

     Sved woke Brom for the second watch and made him promise not to leave the path. Satisfied with the younger barbarian's word, Sved went to sleep. It was only a few minutes after Sved nodded off that Brom heard voices calling to him from the trees. The voices spoke of warm fires, good food and drink, and better company. A warm breeze wafting from the wood carried the smell of roasting meat and the sound of singing voices. Brom, feeling it his duty to check out these strange occurrences, walked off the path and a few feet into the wood. He didn't see anyone, but the voices continued to beckon. Another few paces into the wood resulted in the same. Brom traveled a few more cautious paces through the trees, and this time he saw something. Sitting on the ground in a tiny clearing a dozen paces ahead, was a tankard of beer. For some reason, Brom was still a bit wary of this gift. However, a sip from the tankard calmed his fears: it was not light beer. Brom drained the tankard.

     At this point, a beautiful young maiden stepped out from behind a tree. She invited Brom to join in the festivities, which he could now hear clearly just beyond the trees. Brom was still hesitant, feeling a bit guilty about leaving the party. The maiden smiled at him and told him of the fine food and dancing and all the people who were waiting to greet and dance with him, and still Brom was reluctant to abandon his post. The maiden pointed out that they had more beer. "Ok," said Brom, and followed the maiden through the trees.

     After a few dozen paces, the wood opened up into a large clearing where a great feast had been laid out with all manner of delicacies. Beautiful young men and women danced around in circles, while a large cadre of well endowed ladies came over to greet Brom. Beer was provided and Brom was provided with a plate of finely roasted deer. (Brom had to admit that the feast surpassed even Jorr's efforts.) Time passed and Brom began to, again, feel some guilt about leaving his post. Despite the protestations of his hosts, Brom decided that he needed to get back to the cart, if only to make sure his companions were well and to invite them to the wonderful party he had discovered. Brom was allowed to leave, but, upon entering the wood, he found it almost impossible to get his bearings. Between the beer and the dense wood, he eventually ended up back in the clearing with the revelers.

     Brom was re-welcomed by his numerous hostesses. Feeling that he had at least done his best to do his duty, Brom settled in to enjoy the festivities. He helped himself to some more of the food (although he abstained from the beer in the hopes that a clearer head would help him find the path again – he was demonstrating a rather impressive sense of willpower). A short time later, the maiden who had initially greeted him appeared and asked him to join in the group's dancing. Brom initially protested, but the young maiden won him over and he joined in one of the circle dances. Brom found it surprisingly easy to follow the dance and was enjoying himself thoroughly. It was only a little later that he saw that another circle had formed around the circle he was in, and later another circle appeared around that one. A few rounds later, Brom realized that he was standing in the center of ring upon ring of dancing figures. There was a flash of light.

     All this time, the rest of the party slept unmolested. Alexander, believing, for some reason, that Brom would wake him for his shift, slept on. He was roused by the sound of a voice nearby: "Oi! Get up!" Alexander woke with a start and looked around. The voice sounded like it had come from inside his tent, but he couldn't see anyone. The call was repeated. When Alexander didn't respond immediately, something grabbed hold of his leg and dragged him bodily from his shelter. Once re-exposed to the elements, Alexander looked around before finally looking down to see the gnome who had dragged him from his tent. The gnome informed him that the elves had taken the large barbarian. Alexander toyed with the idea of going back to sleep, but it was clear that the gnome (Nac MacFeegle) felt Alexander should be doing something about this, and Alexander knew that a direct disagreement on this point was likely to be painful. Alexander woke Sved and Jorr to discuss a plan of action. Jorr pointed out that elves were vulnerable to iron and offered some of his iron skillets as weapons of choice in retrieving the group's wayward barbarian. It was decided that the injured Jorr would stay with the cart while Sved and Alexander entered the wood and attempted to retrieve Brom. In order to ensure that they could find their way out again, Alexander produced a ball of twine, one end of which he tied to the wheel of the cart. He then played the twine out behind him to provide a path back. To keep the elves from interfering with their trail, Alexander produced small iron charms, sinkers, and whatnot and attached them to the line every 10 feet or so. Their path thus marked and armed with cookware, Sved and Alexander entered the wood. It didn't take them too long before they found the clearing, now empty. As they were investigating, however, they began to hear voices and see lights along the edges of the wood. Aside from a small burnt patch on the ground, they were unable to find any trace of Brom.

     At this moment, Brom was waking up to find himself in a large crystal of some kind. He also was devoid of all his belongings, including his clothes. Brom tested the walls and discovered that he could not beat his way out of his prison. A voice came from somewhere telling him to relax, that his needs would be provided for. To make the point, a tankard of beer appeared on the floor of the cell. Brom, however, refused to touch it.

     Sved and Alexander returned to the edge of the clearing and Alexander addressed the lights in the wood. The elves responded that they did, in fact, have Brom and did not feel inclined to return him. Alexander suggested that he could pay for the barbarian's return. After some discussion as to what fee would be appropriate, it was decided that the elves would return Brom if the remaining party members could tell a good enough story. Sved went first and told one of the great Ephebian classics. Sved, it turned out, had quite a bit of talent in this regard and provided an extremely good rendition of the tale. The elves, however, felt that their price had not been sufficiently met, there was a flash, and Sved was frozen motionless. When asked their reasons for rejecting the tale, the elves responded that, while the telling was excellent, the story was one that they had heard before.

     Thus warned, Alexander, who was not as familiar with classical literature, went through the numerous religious stories that he knew. He selected one that was obscure but which he felt also would appeal to his particular audience and then gave as dramatic a rendition as he was able. Upon completion, there was a pause from his audience. Then it was announced that Alexander's story met the agreed price. There was a flash, and Sved disappeared. In his place, stood the naked and disarmed Brom.

     The elves explained that they had followed the letter of the agreement and that a second price would need to be paid for Sved. Alexander told Brom to follow the twine back to the cart, without touching it for fear that the barbarian would inadvertently break the line, and return to the cart. He was then to stay there with Jorr until Alexander and Sved returned. Once Brom left, Alexander attempted to bargain for Sved's freedom, but the elves seemed disinclined to hearing a third story and none of Alexander's knickknacks appealed to them. After several minutes of ineffective haggling, an elf shot Alexander in the shoulder with a small dart. Alexander responded by throwing a small bag of iron filings in the direction of the attack and an elf with a small bow fell from a tree and ran off into the woods. Alexander could feel the sleep agent in the dart begin to work, but he was able to partially resist its effects. However, he pretended that the dart was, indeed, effective and slowly fell to the ground.

     Meanwhile, Sved woke to find himself (clothed) in a large crystal room. After shouting a bit, a voice informed Sved that his needs would be taken care of. Food and drink then appeared in the center of the room, but Sved was feeling more creative than hungry and used the food to create art sculptures. A set of fine clothes, which the elves suggested to Sved that he wear, appeared in the room and were quickly incorporated into the food collage. When he finished his masterpiece, the materials disappeared and the cell returned to its original, pristine interior. A set of random odds and ends appeared in the center of the cell, but Sved refused to have anything to do with them, lest he be providing amusement to his captors.

     Meanwhile, Alexander feigned collapse due to the effects of the elven dart. Shortly thereafter, two large men stepped out of the trees. They took Alexander's skillet arsenal as well as his belt pouch with assorted odds and ends, and having thus disarmed him, carried him, one on each arm, through the wood, leaving the skillets and pouch behind. He was carried through a narrow path and through an ornate gate in the trees at the edge of another clearing. Upon passing through, Alexander found himself in Fairy with crowds of elves gathered to witness his entrance. Alexander was carried into a small room with a heavy wooden door and left there. Once alone, Alexander took a small iron charm from his pocket and held it against the dart wound – this seemed to mitigate the effects of the elves' toxin. He then set about exploring his room.

     Meanwhile, Brom was following the twin back to the cart when hundreds of Nac MacFeegle, all screaming battle cries (although no two seemed to have agreed on a single cry) streamed past him at ankle height. When the flow had ceased and the gnomes had passed into the underbrush, Brom paused, before shrugging and continuing to the cart. There he found Jorr, who had also witnessed the gnome flood. Jorr was filled in on what had happened in the wood. The two decided to follow Alexander's orders to stay with the cart and await his return. However, as night turned to day, they began to sense that something might be amiss. Eventually, Jorr decided to enter the wood and attempt to find out what had happened. Armed with two of his best fighting skillets, Jorr followed the twine back into the woods, telling Brom to stay with the cart until sunset and then the barbarian could do whatever he wanted.

     Jorr was able to follow the twine to the location where Alexander had been taken captive. He there found two of his skillets and the bag of Goodness. He was wondering aloud where Alexander and Sved had gone when he heard something in the trees. Asking again, the dryads in the trees responded that the elves had taken both and the Jorr should try to get them back. Jorr pointed out that he was in really poor shape after his previous altercation and asked if there was anything the dryads could do to help him. One of the trees then bent down and picked the dwarf up. Jorr was raised to the treetops and a green glow covered him. When he was returned to the ground, Jorr found that most of his injuries had healed. The dryads then showed Jorr the path the elves had taken when they carried Alexander away. Jorr followed this trail to the clearing where he saw the fairy gate, along with a massive crowd of Nac MacFeegle milling around. After some discussion, the assembled crowd decided that attempting to enter the fairy gate at any time other than night or dusk would probably have an adverse result, so the decision was made to wait for nightfall. Jorr offered to cook dinner for the assembled gnomes and a rather surprised looking deer was carried into the clearing. After offering his apologies to the ungulate, the deer was butchered and, with the help of a gnome named Big Jim, a fire was started and Jorr prepared a rather fine feast of venison.

     Realizing that Brom would probably leave at sunset, Jorr sent a Nac Macfeagle to retrieve the barbarian. Brom was initially reluctant to enter the wood, but gnomes can be very persistent and eventually he agreed to follow the gnome back to the clearing where Jorr and the rest of the Nac MacFeegle were eating and waiting for sunset.

     Back in Fairy, Sved was brought before the fairy king and queen. They asked Sved if he would continue to construct the strange and unique sculptures that he had initially made while in his prison, but Sved refused. Eventually, the king and queen became annoyed with the elderly librarian and turned him into a monkey.

     At about this point, Alexander was fetched from his cell by the same large men who had carried him into fairy. He was led a large courtroom where an elven woman sat on a throne. Alexander requested that he and the rest of his party be returned and that if the elves could think of compensation, he could attempt to meet their price. However, the elf woman pointed out that Alexander was not in a position to bargain. Alexander then responded that a fair price would be the safety of Fairy. At that point, a young dandy in the court fell to the ground, a small iron bearing somehow in his pocket. Alexander than repeated his request that Sved be returned to him and they all be allowed to leave. If not, he promised that the dwarves would soon be seeking Fairy for the rich veins of iron that ran through it. At this point, a monkey ran out from the assembled court and began grabbing Alexander's leg. Alexander pushed it away -- it is difficult to maintain the dignity needed for such tense standoffs in enemy territory when there is monkey trying to climb your leg. The monkey the grabbed a wine glass and, after smashing it on the ground in front of Alexander, began trying to write something in the spilled liquid. Unfortunately, no one was able to understand the message and a court attendant grabbed the monkey and shoved it in a cage. Alexander than repeated his demand for Sved's return at which point the elven woman on the throne smiled and said that Sved had already been brought before Alexander. Alexander modified his request to add that Sved be recognizable, and Sved appeared in the monkey's cage.

     Meanwhile, night had fallen outside the Fairy gate. Jorr then outlined a plan of attack to defeat the elves. The gnomes stared at him for one unblinking moment and then, with cried of "Nac MacFeegle" the hoard of gnomes poured through the gate with all the coordination of a herd of rats on PCP. Jorr shrugged, and then he and Brom joined the ankle high deluge. The gnomish onslaught caught the elves by surprise and the main entry hall was quickly cleared of resistance. From the upper alcoves, elven archers fired darts, but the gnomes proved very difficult targets. Some of the archers decided to opt for the easy targets and sent darts towards Jorr and Brom. Both were hit multiple times. The darts didn't do much damage, but the toxins on the points made the elves appear even more regal and beautiful than ever. Both were, however, able to resist most of the toxin's influence.

     Brom and Jorr sprinted down the hall with some of the Nac MacFeegle and reached a pair of delicately winding stairs. An elven scribe took one look at the attackers and began sprinting up the stairs. The gnomes and party members took off in pursuit and, after dispatching the scribe about halfway up the stairs, continued up.

     The stairs took them into the large hall where Alexander was in his standoff with the elven queen. The gnomes quickly ripped through any resistance while Brom rescued Sved from his cage. The elven queen disappeared and the Nac MacFeegle followed the fleeing elves as they tried to cram themselves through any available exit. With the party reunited, the four self-described adventurers headed for the exit.

     When they reached the main hall they noticed that the walls had taken on an insubstantial appearance. Alexander called for the Nac MacFeegle to make for the exit and the party broke into a sprint. The Nac MacFeegle flooded into the hallway from all directions, passed the party, and flooded out the gate. The four party members made a dive and lept through the gate just before it burst into flame, just as the sun began to rise.

     Their mission accomplished, the Nac MacFeegle dispersed and the party made their way back to the cart and supplies which they found non the worse for their absence except for Alexander's horse which had apparently been grazing on the octarine grasses of the meadow and was now purple with a chromatically variable mane. Brom was chastised repeatedly by multiple members of the party, but displayed a suitable amount of contrition to satisfy those around him. Alexander put together a small pile of tools, knives, and other nick-nacks for the Nac MacFeegle, and then the party continued along the path toward Lamedos.